Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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