apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just sucked dick on a ferry
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
