My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
