It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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