the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
