I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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