i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
