I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
