You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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