lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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