ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
