Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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