alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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