Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
