I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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