dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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