Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Operation Purity has been aborted
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
