Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
