you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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