it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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