dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
