I love black thongs
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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