Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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