...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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