used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
