i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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