Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
