She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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