I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
