I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How's work?
Spinning.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
