He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
