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My nipple is on Facebook.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
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