So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
nutella sex= disaster
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.