I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
