god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
