I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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