3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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