Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize