so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
