we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
