I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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