There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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