If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
