Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
