People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
