it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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