How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
