his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
