That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
