They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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