Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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