god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
