Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
