So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
