the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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