dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.