I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
