oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
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he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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