We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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