Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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