How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dicks are not precious.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
