Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
