i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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