I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
